Life is the art of drawing without an eraser ~ John W. Gardner

Thoughts & Mood

10 Things Married Women Are So Sick of Hearing

Saw this article on Women’s Health FB page and out of curiosity, I read it. They’re pretty hilarious and TRUE.

10 Things Married Women Are So Sick of Hearing

1. So, when are you going to have kids?

This is what I get the most! I know it’s the society norm to get married and have kids, but it is not an absolute thing that a married couple MUST do. I don’t know why people like to ask this question as if it has anything to do with them whether or not I have kids!

2. What’s it like?

When I just got married, people (single especially) around me liked to ask, “so, how is married life?” Seriously, are you really interested to know?

3. You’re different now.

I often got comments like this when I cracked a joke or when I UNDERSTAND some dirty jokes. “Whoa, now that you’re married you’re totally different! Hey, you talk different after you’re married! Oooohhhh, someone’s become naughty after she got married.” –___– Give me a break!

4. When are you changing your name?

Lucky I never get this.

5. Are you going to buy a house?

I got this very often too. Trust me, they never stopped asking until the day I put my down-payment on the house. And after that, the question changed to, “when are you moving to your new house? Are you going to renovate it big time?” @__@

6. What do you think of your in-laws?

What I got is, “how are you getting with your in-laws? Good? Are they good people?” Really, I don’t see how it concerns you. If it’s my parents and close friends who genuinely care, I don’t mind.

7. Do you ever get sick of each other?

Andrew and I are very much in love, I can’t speak on his behalf but I know I always like to be together with him. Wherever I go and whatever I do, I will always like to go and do it with him. When people know that we’re two love birds who can’t separate from each other, they often ask me, “C’mon, you’ll have to be more independent. Aren’t you sick of seeing each other everyday? Don’t you need some alone time?” Yes, we do, we don’t go to the toilet together. ARGH!

8. I could never get married.

No, no one has said this to me.

9. You wouldn’t understand: You’re married.

Yes, someone used to say this to me A LOT. Like the writer said, it’s like I’ve been married since the day I was born and I was never single. When I was single and didn’t have a boyfriend, the same person used to say “you wouldn’t understand: You’re never in love”.

10. Is he your best friend?

I only have people asking me, “do you tell him everything? Do you keep secrets from him? Oh, you do tell him everything. So, he’s your best friend huh?” DUH!


How Do I Teach My Children In The Future?

The recent “Soup Kitchens Ban” news spread like wildfire.

I am aware that there are a lot volunteers out there feeding the homeless, my colleague is one of them. When I heard “some” minister cleverly suggested to ban soup kitchens just because he thinks it’s not good for the city image, I was shock.

Our city image, not just tarnished by the homeless and beggars, but also by a bunch of people who do not know how to manage the city!

If stop feeding the homeless can really get rid of the homeless problem, I think we should stop paying salaries to the government servants and make them all volunteers to curb corruptions. Isn’t that the same theory?

Also, the homeless now at least get one proper meal (and it’s not a luxury 3-course meal) in a day, if no helps come their way in the future, who knows they may get desperate and start robbing or stealing just to get a meal to live on. The government is already not helping these people, and now they want to ban volunteers from lending a helping hand? Worse, punish the person who helps.

Andrew has always been a kind soul to people who need helps. He would always give a dollar or two to those who asked, but he doesn’t just give to anyone that comes. He’s very good in observing. We used to bump into a man with his wife in a restaurant asking for donation, Andrew has given him money a few times. One day I asked him, “the man is clearly capable of working, why do you still give him money?” “Did you see the wife? She doesn’t look mentally healthy, and you look at the man’s shirt and hands, the fingers and nails are all dirty and black, obviously he has a job, some hard labor maybe. I think he needs extra money for the wife’s medical expenses.” I was so touched and surprised that he could see so much that I didn’t. From that moment onwards, I’ve told myself to see beyond. I would also love to teach my children (not just my own, my friends’, my nephews and nieces, any child) to always be kind like Andrew but see beyond and know when to help.

If at all we were banned (and fined) from helping the needy, how on earth am I supposed to teach my children in the future?

NO! You can’t help them, you’ll get fined!

NO! You shouldn’t give them food or money, the police will fine you!

“But mom, the books and teachers told us we have to be kind and help those in need.”

What will the world become without empathy and kindness? Everyone will be so selfish.

I seriously don’t want my children to live in that kind of world.


Type-r

I have been writing (I mean typing) a lot, but posted nothing. Every time when I was half way through, I read from the top and I deleted everything. What crap I wrote. I seriously don’t know what’s going on with me, I can’t write like I used to.

I’ve been reading, but I don’t get inspired to write.

I’ve been watching movies, but I don’t feel the urge to blog about them.

I’ve been living (yes, of course!), but I don’t feel the energy to write about my life anymore.

I’ve been working and challenges never stop, but I don’t dwell on them anymore.

A lot of things happened, but I just can’t seem to put them into words.

I have thought of a lot of things that I could write, but when my fingers lingering on the keyboard and eyes looking at this white space, everything just goes out the window.

It’s getting worse lately, I am so lazy to write, or even think. I’d rather be a couch potato watching television shows all day. Sigh……

I need motivation……


Clock Is Ticking

How many people have reminded me that my clock is ticking…… My biological clock that is…… More precise, “you’re not young anymore Ashley, when are you going to have a baby?”

However, I think people got bored of asking me that question already. :) I get lesser of that nowadays. Friends have stopped asking actually. Perhaps they know what I have gone through and they know by asking the question again would have brought up some unhappy memories. My family has too stopped asking me that. They know very well whatever my decision is, I have my reason and they understand. Only a few will still ask me the question when they see me, but they don’t bother me because they’re not important to me.

When I see a baby, I will go “awww…… Look at her/him, so cute!” When I remember the time taking care of my niece, I will go “OMG!!! Can’t she just sit still?! Can’t I have 5 minutes of me time?! Milk again?! Didn’t she just eat?! Potty!!!” I faint. Of course, there are times that she will be real sweet and cute and behave herself.

I must say that I got very selfish now. I’ve been enjoying the freedom far too long and I now don’t seem to know how to share my time with others. I freak out the moment I realise there won’t be any TV time at night when I get home from work. My head spins a little when I think of the time I’ll be spending in doing all the washing and changing diapers. Also, I don’t get to watch movies whenever I feel like, I won’t have time for Andrew and he won’t have more time for me, we won’t be holding hands when we go out anymore because we will be pushing the stroller and carrying the bag, we can’t travel together anymore without having to worry and care for another person…… I am selfish, I want Andrew all to myself. I can’t even imagine sharing him with my own child. @__@ Having a child is a lifetime commitment, there won’t be an end to it……

The question of to have a child or not, has again come to the surface. I love babies but I just don’t think I can take care of one. Yes, you may tell me the mother instinct will kick in when you have a child. Yes, you will tell me the baby’s smile will worth all the hardships that you’ll have to go through. I know, I know all of that very well. However, I have doubt in myself. And yes, you will tell me everyone has doubt in themselves until they have their own child.

What is the purpose of having a child?

Is it wrong to not have a child?

I am not sure of what to do now. To have, or not to have?

Andrew said, let the nature take its course.

I can’t. I’m not one who doesn’t plan and leave everything to nature’s hands.

Your clock is ticking, Ashley. It is ticking……


Super Dry

No, I’m not talking about the brand. And NO, not about sex! (Hmm…… Maybe someday I should write something about sex. I’ve never tried writing about it. HA!)

My sense of writing is at its super low now and my creativity is super DRY!!!!!!!! Perfect timing with the water rationing recently, DRY!

I’ve picked up a new book to read, hoping that it would get me “replenished” and motivate me to write something again. ARGH! It’s not helping. I am flipping the pages merely for the fun of reading the book, my brain doesn’t seem to bother to digest and save some vocabs for use later. I really enjoy reading the book, and that’s it. Don’t ask me if I’ve learned a new word or two from it. No, I’ve NOT. :(

Watching movies doesn’t make me think or reflect too.

Reading blogs doesn’t seem to do the trick too.

Listening to stories doesn’t motivate me to write something about it too.

What happened lah????!!!!!!! I have actually written a few blog posts but I stop half way on all of them…… Half way through, I felt that I was writing rubbish. LOL!

Don’t worry, I am not abandoning my blog.


I Need Hope

It’s beyond words…… I can’t believe that I’m reliving the pain and heartache…… For people that I don’t personally know.

In the past, I only felt a brief moment of sadness when I heard a plane crashed. This time, it is my country’s airline…… It is so close to home and heart. 239 lives…… I feel more than just pain……

We all went from hopeful, to now hopeless. That is the hardest part, to accept the fact that all hopes are gone now. Miracles will not happen.

For a stranger like me to feel so much, it must be overwhelming and so hard for the family members……

Anger will come…… It is part of the process of grieving…… Our government better be prepared to provide answers. People, will not take ambiguity and avoidance anymore.

If the debris confirmed to be of the MH370, I will feel angry too……

Why did it turn back? Why did it end up in the Indian Ocean? Why didn’t someone pick up anything on the radar? Why was the communication system deliberately turned off? Why would someone do such thing? Why didn’t the government tell us earlier? Why waited for so long?

I need to feel hopeful again.


Writing Ain’t Easy, But It’s Fun

Generally, I love to write. Most of the times, I express myself better in writing.

Recently I just have this crazy desire to write story…… Or I should say I have always been wanting to try writing a story. I’ve been writing about myself and what is happening in my life. I have not really tried writing a fictional story.

I’m a person who likes to dream. I’m not talking about those goals that I would like to achieve. I’m talking about daydreaming, imagining and let the thoughts wander…… Of course I don’t daydream when I work lah. I don’t daydream as much as I did when I was much younger. The window of time for me to be idle and let the thoughts wander is getting smaller and smaller. However, when I get that chance, I’ll just let my mind run free and imagine all things that I would love to imagine. I’ve never put those thoughts and imaginations to words. Now, I think it’s time for me to do that.

My vocabulary is at its worst lately. Many a times I couldn’t find the right word to express what I want to express. I have no one to blame but myself, for not reading at all for the past one year. Only did some reading on the internet. ARGH! Pick up a book and read, Ashley! Stop procrastinating! @__@

You’ll be seeing “short story” posts in the future. Of course, don’t expect incredibly fantastic stories from me. I’m not Patricia Cornwell or Dan Brown. :P

 


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