What’s Next?
Majority of us wanted a change. A change in government, a change in direction, and a change in our life.
We made the history again. 80% of the eligible voters voted. First in history. Most of us did the best we could to exercise our rights. Every vote counts and we make sure our votes count.
I voted. I waited.
When I saw the results the next morning, I got restless.
Shocked, surprised, confused, sad, angry…… How could one be overwhelmed with all these feelings at the same time?
I was shocked to see that the results took a sudden turn when I slept.
I was surprised to see that the opposition won so many seats.
I was confused to see what was supposed to be right became wrong.
I was sad to see the racism from our leader.
I was angry that our leader clearly does not understand what his people want.
My heart ached, for the future of the country.
I know that you can’t change the course of a nation over one night. Rome wasn’t built in a day. However, the behavior of our leader makes me sick.
Why can’t he see?
It is never about our races.
It is never about our religions.
It is never about our beliefs.
It is always about, Malaysian.
Please, all we ever ask for is, lead us to the right path, bring us to a better place.
It is always, US. All of US.
Don’t try to divide us. We will never fall for such childish trick.
Don’t try to “color” us. We are “color blind”.
Don’t try to fool us. We are “color blind”, but not blind.
If you still want to remain in power, please be a leader!
Get rid of your muppets that aren’t contributing. They’re making you look like a fool.
Our Jalur Gemilang (Stripes of glory). Do you see the many colors that represent all of us??? We are ONE. We are MALAYSIAN.
Jalur Gemilang
Berkibar-kibar di hatiku
Jangan sekali sekala
Memijak impianku
Jalur Gemilang
Berkobar-kobar di hatiku
Jangan sedaya upaya
Memadam semangatku
Jalur Gemilang
Selalu di hatiku
Kita anak Malaysia
Kita bersatu padu
P.S.: I am not Chinese, I am MALAYSIAN. My dear PM, if my foreign friends can see me as a Malaysian, why can’t you?
I Am Malaysian
I am Malaysian
I can speak Chinese
Because my ancestors were Chinese
But, I am Malaysian
I am Malaysian
I call Malaysia home
Because it is where I was born
So, I am Malaysian
I am Malaysian
I choose to exercise my rights
Because I have to do what is right
Therefore, I fight as a Malaysian
I am Malaysian
I vote for a better future
Because I want a better future
A future where we are all Malaysians
A future where I do not have to fill in my “race”
A future where we stand united as one race
A future where I do not fear my government
A future where the government serves its people
A future where I can proudly tell the world that,
“I am Malaysian
I love my country
And I love my leader”
~ Ashley
P.S.: Right now, I am not entirely proud of being a Malaysian. I am not entirely happy to be a Malaysian. I love my country, and it saddens me so much to see a bunch of monkeys running this country to the ground. It has become worse in the past 10 years. I am not sure of what the future will bring, but I am all hopeful. I am not a supporter of the opposition, but I am a supporter of change. 56 years…… It is long enough. Chance should be given to others, just like when the Americans given Obama a chance. For better or worse, we will be the ones who make the history. The vote, is in our hands. Why are we so afraid of change? I have heard people saying, “no one is capable enough to rule this country”. My dear, we are not sure, we are not sure. Don’t judge too quickly. At least, a change is better than nothing. Change, is what we need now.
He gave his people hope, but many are now disappointed. At least, the people of USA held their heads high and said, “I made that change”. I wish I would be able to say that, on 5th May 2013.
Déjà Vu #2
Some time ago, I wrote about déjà vu, which I used to have them very frequent. Surprisingly, I stop having that kind of feeling for quite a while.
I’m not sure if I should be happy. I’m happy that I do not have to worry about bad things in my dreams happening in real life, on the other hand I feel that I’ve lost some kind of “power”. Hahahahaha. Maybe not power, but the feeling of being special.
Why did the déjà vu happen so frequent? And why did it stop?
Only scientists/physicists can answer my questions I guess.
Or am I more oblivious of my feelings nowadays?
The Memory. The Future.
Have we met?
Have we kissed?
I can’t recall
I don’t remember
I see you
But I don’t know you
I hear you
But I don’t feel you
In my dream
I know you
I feel you
I love you
Is this a dream?
My dream?
Is this a memory?
My memory?
It does not matter now
You are here,
With me
You are,
My future
~ Ashley
P.S. : Inspired by the movie, Oblivion, of what Jack Harper felt.
Photo taken by Andrew on Samsung Galaxy SIII, at Pantai Chendering, Kuala Terengganu (one of my favorite beaches).
学。坏。
我不是天使
我没有光圈
也没有翅膀
我不是恶魔
我头上没角
也没三叉戟
不要说我好
因为我从没说过我是好人
不要说我坏
因为我没有作恶多端
了解我
就不要说我
说我的
也只不过是在给自己套光圈
要说我
就不要学我
要学我
就不要说我坏
我坏么？
那，你还学？！
要学人之前
先学好如何做好自己罢
Photo taken by Andrew
The Word That We Are So Afraid Of
Love?
Hate?
Hopeless?
Death?
There is one particular word that we are so afraid of hearing it, especially when it comes out from someone who we love deeply.
Suicide.
All of us have problems. At some point in your life, you will feel so helpless and hopeless.
When help doesn’t help at all, when hope fades…… This thought becomes even clearer than any other.
When someone feels anger or hatred more than anything else, this thought again, looms.
I’ve had close family members who expressed to me that they’ve thought of death as the only way out. I was afraid, so afraid.
What can I do to make them stop thinking about it? I hadn’t any clue.
There is one thing that I could surely do, show them lots and lots of love.
I talked to them more often, visited them, hugged them more than any other time that I would, and emphasized that I will always love them even when the world gives up on them.
Did it work? I guessed so. They’re still here with me.
The love from family is something that could save lives. I’m glad that our family bond is so strong and that makes things easier. We hold on to one belief, “if thing goes wrong, my family has my back and they will never ever give up on me”.
Last year, I finally understand why would someone think of death as the only way out. I didn’t understand why would one person give up life so easily.
I blamed it on the hormonal changed and emotional instability. See, it just takes a few wrong switches at the wrong time to trigger the thought. If it wasn’t taken care of, bad thing is bound to happen.
It happened during my pregnancy. I was so tired after a long day at work, something at home triggered the rest of the emotions and that’s it. I was throwing tantrums, raising my voice, crying…… A lot of stuff went through my mind. All sorts of silly thoughts, why no one cares about how I feel and all they care about is only themselves, why are they so mean to me, why do I have to listen to them all the time, why do I have to always be the one to give in, why can’t I have any freedom of speech…… All the why’s that I have no answers to. I was angry and upset.
“It would be better if I wasn’t around”, I blurted it out at Andrew and he asked me what I meant.
At that moment, I was looking at the sliding door to the balcony. I wanted to go over, open the door and jump off.
I didn’t do that, of course. I thought of my mom, I couldn’t leave her alone. The thought of her being sad is enough to pull me back to my normal self.
Whenever I look back, I feel scared. It was scary. If the thought were stronger enough, I would have done it. Will it happen again? I don’t know. I hope not. I have my family that needs my love, I can’t let them down.
I am no expert in psychology. If you notice someone around you has that negative thought, please seek help. Either from the expert or the family. GET HELP.
There’s always hope no matter how hopeless it seems.
P.S.: I’m not thinking of committing suicide now if you wonder. :) I’m perfectly fine and happy now. I’m not a quitter by nature. So, yeah, it must be the hormones back then. Hahahaha. :D
Photo taken by Ashley, using Samsung Galaxy Note II.
好男人。好难人。
俗话说，做人难，做好人更难。
我说，做女人更是难上加难。做好女人简直是超级难！
做男人呢？
坏男人总是被人说成是有性格。
好男人在现今社会简直就是濒临绝种了。
坏男人伤透了女人的心。
好男人何尝不是？！
谁说好男人就是任由女人欺负？
好男人也会伤女人的心！而且还是伤的最深！
好男人，对谁都好。把自己的女人摆在最后一位。
好男人，不善拒绝。把自己的女人冷落一边。
好男人，左右为难。令自己的女人里外不是人。
好男人，吞吞吐吐。让自己的女人磨耐性。
好男人，拖泥带水。叫自己的女人不得不自作决定。
好男人，优柔寡断。害自己的女人浪费青春。
看吧，好男人最终也只是难为别人。
说得好听就是好男人。
说难听点，只是个柔柔弱弱的男人。
好男人，好男人。。。
好难人啊！！！
后记：见过人家口里、眼里的好男人，可老婆却总是在受苦。有些最终还是搞婚外情、闹家变、搞离婚。好男人么？好男人的话怎么还会抛妻弃子、让老婆受苦、受伤？！我不敢说Andrew是个好男人。他人好，但不是好男人。我也不想他做好男人。只要有责任心，对我负责，就够了。我才不想他哪天回家跟我说他是个好男人，所以要对别的女人负责！我是自私的女人，我不准我的男人做大家的好男人。
Photo taken by Ashley
A Year Wiser
My surprises started since 12am, 1 April 2013.
Cheeky Andrew came into the bedroom, with his right hand clenched.
Andrew: Come, give me your hand. I have something for you.
Me: *Wide eye* HUH?! Eeeeeee!!! What’s in your hand???!!! Don’t want! Must be “kar juak” (cockroach in hokkien)!!! You just want to trick me!!! Don’t want!!!
Andrew: Aiyoooo…… Come lah!!!
Me: Don’t want!!! Don’t know what’s inside!!!
Andrew: NAH!!!! *He opened his hand and took out the pendant*
Me: Ohhhhh…… Hehe…… Thank you ah.
Andrew: What lah you…… “kar juak” pulak……
Not that I don’t trust him, he is just too cheeky at times and I gotta learn to “protect” myself from all his tricks. :P
It’s another charm pendant from Thomas Sabo. He wanted to buy the same one that I lost, which he gave me during one of the Valentine’s Day years ago, but it is no longer in the production. :( Really clumsy me, how could I have lost the first ever charm from him! The most precious one…… *Cries*
Few weeks ago, I’ve bought a beauty box for myself. Did not expect to receive it right on this day though. Was so excited and happy to receive it yesterday! It smells so pleasant the moment I open the box! Ahh…… What a pleasant pick-me-up. First time I bought myself a birthday gift. Hahaha. Never thought that it would feel so nice to receive a gift from myself! Guess I should do this every year, buy something as a gift and have it delivered to myself. :D
Beauty box from TheLilacBox.
During lunch time, I got another surprise. When a close friend asked me for my office address last week I already knew she was up to something. What I did not expect was the gift! Never would I have thought that they would send me a bouquet of flowers! Flowers from my girl-friends! This is another first! Aww…… I’m so touched. So sweet of them to surprise me with such a lovely gift. Now, who said you could only be surprised with flowers from your partner/spouse? ;) Girl-friends know how to sweep you off your feet, too!
I actually thought the flowers were from Andrew, ’cause there wasn’t any card attached. Hahaha. You girls really fooled me lor, on April Fools’ Day! Really love the fa-wer!!! I couldn’t help but smile whenever I see this photo, even right now when I’m writing this.
Girl-friends rock! XOXO
The Home That The Heart Desires
Yesterday, at 4.46pm, my heart literally stopped for 2 seconds when I saw my father’s number on my handphone screen.
My family doesn’t always call me at this kind of “odd” hours, mom will usually call me at night and dad will usually call me in the morning. My sisters will usually call me in the evening. I have had calls from them at unusual hours and it often turned out to be bad news.
All sorts of bad stuff crossed my mind, it must have been urgent or bad for dad to call me at 4.46pm, unusual! I braced myself to answer the call, and I heard mom’s voice. Geez! I got even more worried. Why couldn’t dad call me from his phone and mom had to do that for him?!
“Hello… It’s your father……” My goodness…… What happened to him?!
“Nothing lah…… Just that he can’t walk or sit since few days ago……” Oh dear, by this time I already felt like crying. Although mom tried to make it sound like it ain’t serious, but she was torturing me with her story-telling.
I’m gonna save you from my mom’s story-telling, so you’re not going to read all the dramas here. :)
My father suffered a severe lower back pain few days ago that he couldn’t sit and walk. Went to acupuncture and a few other doctors and things didn’t get better. So my sister sent him to a specialist and the doctor did an MRI scan, found that his inter-vertebral disc in his lower back has hardened due to old age and bone spurs that suppressed on his nerves. Doctor later found out from my dad that the severe back pain was mainly caused by his incorrect sitting posture while he was on his massage chair!
Dad bought this massage chair before Chinese new year and he has been having a hell of a good time on that chair ever since. Almost everyday he would sit on that chair reading newspaper, with one leg rested on another. Doctor said that his posture caused the lower back to sustain more pressure and slowly caused his degenerated inter-vertebral disc and bone spurs to act up. -__- The doctor suggested him to go through some physiotherapy to ease the condition.
So, massage chair isn’t really all that good huh.
Feel so sad that my parents are ageing faster than I thought.
Feel helpless that I can’t do anything.
Feel frustrated that I can’t be by their side when things like this happen.
The only thing I can do is, to go back more often to see them.
In fact, every time I go back, I’m finding it harder to leave them. The moment I return to KL, I start missing them.
I’ll get so miserable if I don’t see them for more than a month.
The older I get, the more my heart desires to go home.
I guess this is what they always say, home is always where your heart is.
I’m going home next week. Just the thought of it is enough to make me feel delighted. :)
IDIOTS
Do you believe that the more you deal with idiots, the more likely you will become one too?
What do you do when you’re surrounded by idiots?
I still can’t seem to handle idiots well. I still get agitated by them. Especially when they do idiotic stuff that really push me to the edge. ARGH! Someone said don’t argue with idiots, they will drag you down to their level and beat you with it. It is easier said than done. :(
Recently, I start to feel like I am an idiot too. :(
If I were any smarter, I would have gotten out of this hell hole and stop complaining.
My heart is singing,
Somebody save me
Let your warm hands break right through it
Somebody save me
I don’t care how you do it, just stay, stay
C’mon, I’ve been waiting for you.
When will my superman come to my rescue? T__T
2013
Bad, bad, bad. Fell short in my 2012 targets. :(
For year 2012, I will…
- Exercise at least once a week
- Read at least one book a month
- Eat healthier
- Sleep early (latest by 12am)
I think I can easily do the second and third, the exercise requires strong determination though. Sleep early…… Which means cut down on TV time……
I did not exercise as much as I wanted to. Only started exercising consistently couple of months back. Sigh……
Read at least one book a month???!!! HA! I did not even finish the “Red Mist” since I picked it up in May last year. *Cries*
Eat healthier, yes. Now I can cook at home, at least Andrew and I are eating healthier than the past. I try to cook as often as possible, but boy, cooking takes up so much of my time. Sometimes I get so tired after cooking just one meal. -__-
Did I sleep early? Hmm…… Most of the time 12am. :D
I was so overestimating myself. Sigh…… Easily do the second and third? HAHAHA! My books-to-be-read are piling up. I have to seriously stop being lazy and start reading.
2012 was kind to me, but had my heartbreaking moment. Hope 2013 would be a better year.
Some of my firsts in year 2012:
- First time went to Bangkok, Thailand.
- First time went to Krabi, Thailand.
- My first pregnancy and miscarriage. (It’s sad, but it’s still my first.)
- First time went to the Big Bad Wolf book sale!
Seems like I didn’t have many firsts in 2012. Didn’t travel a lot too. Let’s hope this year I get to do more travelling.
2012 in Review – Fish Avenue
It’s that time of the year again.
I’m not very happy with myself last year, in blogging. I fell short in my blogging target, worse than year 2011. Was it the laziness or the lack of creativity and inspirations? To blog at least one post a day seemed possible, but I couldn’t do it. Guess I overestimated myself. I even stopped blogging about my trips! Sigh……
Can I do better this year? I hope I could. Blogging everyday may be difficult but it is possible. Don’t worry, I will not blog for the sake of blogging. :)
My Taiwan posts still got the most-viewed in 2012. It’s been 3 years since my first trip to Taiwan. I miss Taiwan so much. Hopefully, I can go there again this year.
So many things I need to accomplish in 2013. Dream big, believe, and you shall achieve. :)
Thank you peeps for visiting my blog. :)
Here’s an excerpt:
19,000 people fit into the new Barclays Center to see Jay-Z perform. This blog was viewed about 63,000 times in 2012. If it were a concert at the Barclays Center, it would take about 3 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.
The LIKES
I often have other bloggers liking certain posts that I wrote here. If you are one of them and you are reading this, I want to thank you. :)
Someone has said that by courtesy, it is good to pay a visit to the bloggers’ blogs to see what they are up to. Who knows, you might even like what they have there in their blogs. I admit I do not always do that. Sigh…… Sorry.
I promise, I will make some time to visit all of your blogs before the year ends. Yes, it is only a few days left of 2012. I shall do that. :)
Again, thank you for taking your precious time to read my crap. :) Whether you’re a “silent reader”, I really appreciate that from the bottom of my heart. :)
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! May your new year filled with joy. :)
I feel so happy!
I am going to see my new born niece for the very first time tomorrow! That is enough to make me feel happy!
It’s been a while since our family last had a new born, all of us are so happy! Naturally, everyone adores the baby girl madly!
I went crazy the second my sister sent me a photo of the baby last week. My heart has been with the baby since then and all I could think of was I want this weekend to come sooner! Hahahahahaha.
I’ll post a cute photo of the little princess here after I see her tomorrow. :D
P.S.: It isn’t the end of the world as we know it. :)
Have you changed?
There is no such things as friends forever.
People can change. We, change.
Our lifestyles change as our priorities change.
Our priorities change as our experiences change.
Our life experiences change as our journeys change.
Our journeys change as our perspectives change.
Our perspectives change as we age.
We are constantly changing. Growing, perhaps.
We can’t expect someone to stay the same forever. For better or worse, we change.
We can’t blame the other person for changing, we ourselves change too.
So, why does it upset you so much when you found out that your friend has changed?
Perhaps, he or she is saying the same about you.
One of the friends said this to me recently, “we are now like having nothing to talk about…… It’s sad.”
I did not say anything, I left it at that.
I don’t blame her for feeling that way. Our lifestyles are different now, our circle of friends is also different, even our outlook on life is different.
We used to be very close, but that was a long time ago. We used to think that we would be best friends forever, but all that has changed now.
I have changed. For her, I may have changed for the worse.
What do we talk about now? Nothing much. Just hi, how are you, and followed by the awkward silence.
No doubt, it is sad. However, I can’t do anything.
I stop trying hard to get someone to jump onto the same bandwagon I am riding. What’s the point if the other person doesn’t appreciate the same view like I do? Plus, we are not heading to the same destination.
When you feel your friend is not as close to you as before, don’t be mad or sad. Be grateful that he or she was part of your life.
We all change. Have you?
You Are More Free Than I Am
Has someone said this to you lately? Or implying that you are more free than them?
I am married, without children. I have friends and colleagues who are married with children. I hate it whenever they want me to compromise my schedule to suit theirs just because they think (and say) that I am MORE flexible because I don’t have kids! Excuse me, your children is your life, I understand. Please also understand that I have a life too although I don’t have children!
Lately, anything regarding parenting or children caught my attention. Not because I want to be a parent soon, but I think I can learn one or two things for dealing with people that behave like children. This article in The Sun caught my attention this morning, The all-engulfing world of parenting.
“Some of them used to be so fun to be with, but now all they want to talk about is their kids. Their whole lives are their kids. It’s a bit of a shame, really, because they used to be so much more.”
It is both shame and sad. Do they not have other things to talk about other than the children? You may argue that many do not have the luxury of time once they have children of their own, their world revolves around their children. That is just so sad. I believe no matter how busy one is, a good 10 minutes of reading time is all it takes, be it a paragraph in a book, an article or magazine…… Oh yes, I’m sorry, I don’t have children and I don’t understand how difficult it is to find that 10 minutes. Don’t forget, by sitting in front of your computer or via your mobile browsing through Facebook, it can take you more than 10 minutes. If you have 10 minutes for that, what makes you think you don’t have 10 minutes for the news online?
Once they have transmogrified into parents, their time suddenly is deemed more precious than those without kids. “If you want to do something, it has to be at such and such an hour and at such and such a place, because, you know, you’re more free than I am. I’m a parent.” I wonder why parents have this impression.
Exactly! What makes the parents think that those without kids are more free than them?! I so often heard parents saying, “my weekends are for my family and children, can we meet on a week-night? Oh and I will have to get home by 9pm, so we will have to meet somewhere near where I live.” How fair is that for me? So I don’t have a kid means I can drive 20km away from my home and sacrifice that extra 30 minutes on the road so that you can get home early to be with your kids? So I don’t have a kid means I don’t have to get home early? So I don’t have a kid means I don’t have anything or anyone important in my life that I need to get home to early? Seriously, what makes a parent think that his/her time is more precious than those without kids?
I am glad that I have friends who are parents but they do not just talk about their kids. They too make the effort for a quick meet up and they would not request others to accommodate to their time and place. I am grateful of friends like them, they’re the ones who make me feel they are still who they are even when they have more responsibilities now.
Unfortunately, I too have friends who always want me to sacrifice for them as they think that I am more flexible and free than them since I don’t have kids. When they ask me out, they would give me a specific time and place and I will have to make myself available. If at all I can’t make it, they will be so surprised, asking “what are you busy with? You don’t have a kid and you’re so busy?”
Sigh…… Once, I told my colleague, I don’t have a kid, doesn’t mean I will be sitting at home watching TV and doing nothing at all. Or I can be so free to go anywhere at any time. I have a husband. Even if I were single, I would have an important life that I want to live.
I don’t have kids. That doesn’t mean my world revolves around YOU.
When I have a kid, it would be my choice. I would not make others sacrifice for a choice that I make. I shall be making the sacrifice, not my friends.
自私
人，都是自私的。
事不关己时就什么都没问题，小事一桩。一旦关连到自己，就呼呼喝喝的，大肆喧闹。
难为别人，就为了自己方便。
怪罪他人，好让自己舒服些。
物，是死的。
人，是活的。
这样行不通，就不能自己想办法吗？！为何要全世界都配合你好方便你办事？！
别人做不到，就不能自己安排吗？！为何要怪罪别人好让自己有台阶下？！
怪了别人，又怎样？？？还不是要自己想办法吗？？？！！！
有那样的闲工夫去管别人，为何就不能管好自己？
有嘴巴说别人，就没嘴巴说自己！
别人不能做，你自己就能做！！！
别人不能说，你自己就能说！！！
全都是别人的错，你自己就没错？？？！！！
想想吧！你没错的话别人干嘛会对你生气！
你若是真那么好，根本就不需要去责怪别人。
你若真是那么好，早就想办法解决事情了。
你没那么好！少装好人了！
自私鬼。
希望。等待。
沙漠渴望绿洲
枯井等待雨水
作者寻找灵感
画家祈求创意
生命希望精彩
时间祈愿充足
婚姻盼望美满
家庭但愿和谐
一生皆在
希望与等待之中
有等待，就有希望
有希望，就会等待
你，希望什么呢？
你，等到了吗？
~ Ashley
最近灵感不知跑哪去了，写什么都不顺意。写下写下，一头雾水，全数删除。与其希望灵感自动找上门，不如随手写些什么吧。就在希望与等待之余，灵感来了。原来，有些时候，光是等着，是没用的。:)
The Social Network
It all started with friends sharing with each other what’s happening with their life.
Now, it has become a tool for people to boast about themselves.
We all have boasted about ourselves. Don’t act all innocent and tell me you have never done it.
Some argue that it is for our friends to know what is happening in our life, it’s about sharing. Well, I guess you don’t have to share about your hair color changed every month, your relationship with your partner everyday, you have a pimple today, you did not put on any make-up today, you had a diarrhoea this morning……
I think we are abusing the “sharing”.
Sometimes I wonder, when we posted a photo of ourselves, what do we expect to get? That our friends would “like” our photos? That others would comment that we are beautiful? To show others that we are pretty?
I too, am guilty of the above. However, I do it less frequent now, as I don’t see a point of posting a photo of myself to the social network any more.
I do not post “status” any more. I would like my life to remain private from people that I’m not close with.
I do not “check-in” to places I’ve been to as well. I have gotten sick of people telling me that I’ve been going or eating out a lot.
I now do not share what I cook any more.
So, you may ask, why do I need the social network for?
I read news about what is going on with the world, get myself inspired with some other great people, share stuff that I think is meaningful and useful, communicate with close friends, share music or videos that I think is cool, share photos of food that I think is nice, sometimes a photo or two of myself and what I’m doing, some interesting stuff that I saw……
I have a restricted group of people that I don’t share everything with. Those people have never taken interest in my life and I would like them to stay that way. I may sound mean, but that is me. I even rejected “friend requests” from friends that I am not close with. My friends list now does not grow. If it wasn’t because of some mutual friends, I would have deleted even more.
Is social network the same as blogging? Hmm…… I would love to think that they’re different.
Bloggers write, not boast. :) Although there are some exceptional cases.
So, are you boasting or sharing?
Fantastic 4
Nope, this isn’t about the movie. :P It’s about me, Andrew, and our marriage. Hahahahaha.
Without feeling how fast time flies, Andrew and I are married for 4 years. We’ve been together for 11 years.
Never have we felt less loved. Instead, the love we share is growing stronger everyday. I can’t understand people who said the love is disappearing after they’re married. I don’t get it and I certainly don’t feel what they feel. I don’t understand this, “stop loving someone”. How can you stop loving someone? How can such feeling disappear? Unless he/she did something horrible.
4 years…… I am still happily married, so is Andrew (at least I feel he is).
He spoils me with all his love and I think I am like a spoiled kid when I’m with him. A lot of men would have run to the end of the world and commit suicide if they see how Andrew treats me. Hahaha. Of course, he doesn’t give in to me all the time. And, I don’t take things for granted.
Over the past one year, there were some unhappy incidents. Lucky that we sorted them out and things worked out just fine. I guess it is only right to say that every relationship or marriage has to have its own ups and downs. That is essential for the relationship to move on to the next level or stage. It’s just like, “you have to fall before you can rise again”. Without differences and disagreement, there will be no similarities and agreement.
Some people are still saying that I am lucky to have found such a nice man. They should have said, I am lucky to be found by such a nice man. I did not let go, that is all I did.
Very often, I wonder, if I were to make a different decision 12 years ago, I wouldn’t have met Andrew, and we wouldn’t be married now. Just one small decision, is all it takes to change the course of history. So, if you were to ask me what would I change if I could go back in time, I would tell you, “nothing”. Every decision I made leads me to where I am now, I am happy with where I am now. I would not risk losing something I have now to change something in the past.
Hope we have many more happy years to comes.
![p20121113-093236[1]](http://fishavenue.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/p20121113-0932361.jpg?w=336&h=448)
It Isn’t The End, Not Yet
Almost everyone is discussing about the prophecy of 2012, that according to the Mayan calendar, the world is going to end on 21 December 2012.
With all due respect, I am always amazed by the Mayan culture, but I don’t think the world is going to end.
On the other hand, I do believe that something is going to happen.
It would not be the end of the world, but something, some changes are going to happen. I don’t know what it might be and how it is going to be like, I’m no rocket scientist.
Ironically, if nothing happens, the Mayan calendar and prophecy would be the biggest joke on earth, ever.
To me, the end of something is always a new beginning of something else. We human adapt to changes very quick. Come what may, I believe we will be able to get through it.
I am more concerned and worried about us human sabotaging and exploiting the mother earth. As I’ve always said, the end of the world, would be us human who bring it upon ourselves.
Before we go on and chanting “Mayan prophecy is coming true”, take a second and think – WE, are actually building our own end-of-the-world. That, is even scarier and more truth than the Mayan prophecy.
Perhaps, the Mayan was merely trying to tell us not to exploit our earth.
Playing The Game Of Ignoring
I must admit, I am extremely good at ignoring someone when I choose to do that.
When I decide to stop talking to one person, he/she will get the silent treatment from me.
I will ignore that person completely even in a group. If he is talking, I’ll not respond to anything he said. I will not even look at him. He will be invisible to me. When I talk, I will not even look at him and if he responds to anything I say, I will never reply. If he asks a question, I will pretend that I have not heard it.
I have done that before, but not many have seen it. For me to completely ignore someone, he/she must have had done something that pissed me off BIG time.
Another situation is, I can ignore stares from others. My peripheral vision is pretty strong. I will know if someone at the same table is actually staring or looking at me, or if someone is exchanging glances with another person and they thought I did not know. I can ignore all that and make as though that I do not know.
You must be wondering, why the hell that this Ashley loves to ignore people. Hahahaha.
Well, there will be times that you will just have to do that to help yourself feel better.
There’s a saying, ignorance is a bliss. It is true sometimes.
P.S.: My peripheral vision is good, but I have this problem of spotting someone I know in a crowd or on the street or in a shopping mall. There were many occasions that my friend would come up to me and call my name and I would be so surprised to see them, and they would say, “what is wrong with you? I was just right in front of you and you couldn’t see me?!” Hahahaha. Sorry, that I really didn’t mean it, I wasn’t ignoring you. :P So please, if you see me in a shopping mall and I did not see you, do know that I wasn’t ignoring you. :P
Debate: Should Men Carry Their Girlfriends’ Handbag?
Thanks to the open-mindedness, we see men are more willing to help their girlfriends/partners with their bags. Unlike those days, where you always see the man walking way up ahead with empty hands and the woman is struggling at the back with grocery bags, shopping bags and handbag.
However, when you see a macho good-looking man carrying a ladies tote bag on his shoulder, walking around the shopping mall holding hands with his girlfriend (with empty hands), what would you think?
Some of us would think that it is fine. Perhaps the girlfriend is tired and the tote bag is heavy.
Some of us would just snort at such a scene and say, “what is the girlfriend thinking asking her man to carry her handbag?!”
Me, I would often think the latter. :D
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not strongly against it, but depends on the circumstances.
Let’s look at this, and picture it in your mind. Use your imagination:
I always carry my oh-so-feminine gold color tote bag from Coach. Now, imagine Andrew is walking around the shopping mall with that on his shoulder, under his armpit…… -_____-
I usually have my wallet, make-up pouch, bunches of keys, 2 handphones and some other “rubbish” in my handbag. It is not very heavy, but it will get heavier especially when I’m tired after a long walk/shop-around. Andrew is always kind enough to offer to carry it for me. I never let him do that. Unless when I go to the wash-room and don’t wish to carry it in with me and he isn’t going.
The reason I don’t let him carry my handbag is because, that is MY handbag. If I don’t want to carry one, I would not even bring one out. Why go all the way to bring your handbag out only to ask your man to carry it for you just because you are tired of carrying it?
If at all I am tired, I would switch shoulders or carry it on my hand or my arm. Sometimes Andrew would insist to carry it for me, and I would always say no. He would tell me that I can “flip” through those clothes more comfortable without the handbag on my shoulder, my answer is always no. If at all he carries, I’d always tell him to NEVER put it on his shoulder! Hahahahaha. I will always take it back from him after a while, because I can’t stand the sight of him carrying a ladies handbag!
When it comes to grocery bags and shopping bags, I’ll never argue with him. I’ll let him carry them all as long as he can manage. I have absolutely no problem of seeing him with 2 handful of paper bags. :) That, only shows that he is macho enough to carry all the loads for me. :D
So, the keyword here is, HANDBAG.
If it is his handbag (for men), I would not say a word, I would even say it’s tasteful for a man to carry a good messenger bag or backpack. If it is your girlfriend’s or wife’s handbag, please, let it stays on her shoulder. No way a man would look tasteful or graceful with that PINK color cute little handbag!!!
Fine, you may argue that there is nothing wrong with helping your partner with her handbag, you love her. Yes. Good if you want to go ahead with it, but please at least carry it like a man. Don’t carry it on your shoulder or hang it on your arm or strap it across your body. Carry it like how a man would carry it, with your hand! If the strap is long, fold them and carry it with your hand. Don’t let it hang on your shoulder please. Men are only allowed to do that with their own bags for MEN.
In the future, I would ask Andrew to get a more masculine baby bag if at all we go out with our baby! Hahahahaha……
Men should carry this kind of bags.
OR, if you look like Cristiano Ronaldo. No one would say a word. :P
The macho way of carrying a lady-like bag!
*CHOKES* Even Ironman has his epic-fail moment. -__-
It doesn’t mean when you’re macho, you can carry your bags like this. Sigh……
When Exercise Creates Stress Rather Than Releases Stress
More and more people are more health conscious these days. You can see more people are hitting the gym for workout. However, people do it for various reasons.
I’ve heard a lot about work-life balance. Some told me exercise helps them to release stress and makes them feel happy. Some claimed that they want to have a work-life balance, so they incorporate exercise into their life. I’ve heard the vain ones telling me they simply want to look good. There’s nothing wrong with their reasons. After all, it all leads to the same thing, a healthy lifestyle.
However, when you are rushing to go to the gym for fear of missing that 5pm class, or you have an emergency and you hate that you have to compromise your workout today, or you are stressed about you can’t finish your work on time to hit the gym later, or you need to make adjustments for your family and you have to sacrifice your exercise routine for few days, or your partner is complaining you are spending too much time in the gym instead of home, or you actually bring inconvenience to people around you just so you can do your workout today, or you say your family comes first but you feel unhappy when you can’t exercise because of your family…… All of these, are causing you more stress. So, does exercise really help you to release stress? Or it actually creates stress without you knowing it?
You’ve been thinking you’re all stressed out because of work and family. You think it is just so difficult to have a balanced healthy lifestyle. You feel that your family is not being supportive enough, all they want is for you to sacrifice for them. You just want that little time for yourself, to have a healthier life, why can’t they understand? You say your work occupying too much of your time, all you want is to have that little time-out to release your stress. You want your friends to make adjustments and compromise to your exercise routine, when they don’t, you think that they don’t understand. You’ve been talking about how good exercising can be, and that is all you can talk about. You have been telling others you feel happier after a work-out, but your family doesn’t understand.
I am not telling you that exercise is bad for your family, but you just need to know how to balance your life. We are all adults, some of us are extremely good at juggling few balls at one time, some of us just suck at it. You have to find that point – how many balls can you juggle.
I am married, with no kids. People are telling me how nice that I have all the freedom to do my own stuff. I agree, and disagree. With a child in your life, you have lesser time for yourself. However, it doesn’t mean that without any kid, I can do everything freely at my own leisure. Don’t forget, I have a husband, and I have my in-laws and my parents.
As much as I want to exercise everyday, I know my limits, physically and emotionally.
When my body feels tired, I don’t stress myself further by working my a** off in the gym. All I want is to go home, cuddle up with Andrew on the sofa watching TV together.
When I have work that I can’t finish on time, I don’t stress myself by feeling anxious of not able to exercise today. I can just exercise half an hour more tomorrow.
When I feel lazy, I simply let myself being lazy. No worries, I can exercise longer and harder tomorrow.
When I have a date, either I wake up earlier for exercise or I don’t. I don’t ask my friends or Andrew to accommodate to my exercise routine.
When Andrew asks me to spend some time with him, I’ll do just that and not feeling unhappy for not being able to exercise.
When I feel like it, I can workout everyday without having to fear that if Andrew approves. I know he is supportive, but I do not take it for granted.
I don’t stress myself out by paying and joining some gym for classes. I go to the club gym in where I live whenever I feel like to, I exercise on my own leisure and time. I don’t believe in “you must exercise in a class with the instructor”. So, I don’t have to rush for the gym.
See, balance lifestyle, isn’t about how much you can do.
It’s about how you do it and how it makes you feel.
If doing one thing disrupts your time for other things, perhaps it is time for you to re-look at your priorities.
So what if you can take care of your family very well, exercise, read books, have a fantastic career and keeping in touch with your friends but at the end, you are feeling so stressed out than ever?
That, is a busy lifestyle, not BALANCED.
When exercise is stressing you out, you think you are still healthy?
You can read more on “How to live a balanced lifestyle” here.
Ashley
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