To return the favor, it could be either good or bad.
We are taught to return the favor when someone helps us. We are never taught to return the favor when someone is mean to us, or we call it revenge. It is always said that revenge only makes you feeling even more bitter, makes you a hater. Even if you manage to return the favor, you can’t undo what is done.
Unlike returning a good deed, others feel happy and you feel happier. Returning the favor should be a circle, it goes round and round, on and on, it should never stop. We often feel elated when we help someone and the world could always use an extra helping hand.
We are also told that to treat people how you would want to be treated, never do unto others what you don’t want others to do unto you. Recently, I saw the photo below on Facebook and I laughed. I laughed, and I concurred.
When the other person doesn’t really care about me, I feel that it is only wasting time to continue to show that I care. Someone said, keep showing them the love since they may need it. Hell with that. I’m not a saint. I can’t love someone who constantly treats me like a doormat. I may or may not return the favor, but I will certainly distant myself from that person, either physically or emotionally.
A very simple rule, you treat me nice, and I’ll treat you the same. When you are mean to me, please don’t expect me to be an angel. When I turn my back on you, you should know damn well that it is time for you to walk out of my life. Don’t go around telling others how I have failed you, remember, it works both way.
Have you ever revenged? Was it really “sweet revenge”?
When I was reading Dan’s blog, We Shouldn’t Be Friends by Any Account, the people that came to my mind were them:
More often than not, we make most of our friends when we are in school. Those friends, are our classmates, also partners in crimes, and friends. When we go to college, we make new friends too, if you’re lucky. When we start working, we have co-workers/colleagues, some of these people become our friends too. You see, the places where we make new friends, are pretty much, predictable. Of course, there are examples of making new friends over the internet and some other strange places. For me, I met this bunch of incredible people in a wedding forum.
It started with us ladies, planning our weddings. We needed information, where else to go to when the world wide web is the easiest and fastest way. We joined this wedding forum, we exchanged ideas, information, advices, thoughts, opinions, jokes, tears…… Five of us, got especially close to each other. Why? I don’t know.
Then, it blossomed into real-life friends. We met up, with the rest of the bride-to-be’s. However, five of us would meet more frequent. We even had our own chat group on MSN and every night we would gather at 8pm or 9pm and chat. We talked about everything under the sky and we laughed at almost every joke.
In between, things happened. Can’t remember what exactly, I’d like to think that’s just how things work.
First, it was only us, the ladies. We’re not really close in age. Our age gap is in between 3 to 6 years. We also come from different places and we were brought up in different culture. We are actually very different. Somehow, we click. Not in a million years I thought I could be friends with them.
Melissa, aka Mel Mel, is the “gentle” one among us. She laughs, she jokes, she talks, but she’s never loud. Once in a while she will say something that crack all of us up big time. She LOVES food, and she doesn’t like HOT. However, she would go under the hot sun for food. Hahahahaha. Usually, I will snort at this sort of “puteri lilin”. C’mon lah, you’re living in Malaysia, if you can’t stand the sun and hot weather, where else can you go? But, we are still friends. The rest of us will always make fun of her “puteri lilin” side, but she’s cool with that.
Wan Yi, we call her “Ah Yi” most of the times. :P She has the loudest laugh!!! When she gets excited, she will laugh so loud that we all at one point think the walls are going to collapse! She’s the youngest among us, we all sometimes treat her like lil’ sister. She is Singaporean. You know, I’m very sceptical towards Singaporean. I usually can’t stand them. To top that, Wan Yi is so much younger than me, she’s even younger than my younger sister. I don’t always click with “small” sister. But well, we are still friends. She has a big heart, she can take whatever crap this BIG sister throws at her. :p
There’s Nicole, we nicknamed her “Ah Nic”. She can cook and bake good stuff! We used to go to her home and eat! Hahahaha. And Wii-ing together. I don’t see her as often as the rest, but we still keep in touch. She will always make effort to meet us. I don’t usually have a lot to talk to friends that I don’t see regularly. You know, that awkward moment when you meet a friend that you didn’t see for a long time, you go “hello, how are you”, and the silence that follows…… Somehow, Nicole is an exception.
Honestly, they’re not exactly the type of friends I would be seen associated with if you look at my personality. However, it turned out that they’re the closest friends that I now have. We don’t get jealous of each other, we don’t badmouth each other, we don’t lie to each other…… We agree, but we also disagree. We have good and bad times, but our hearts still bring us together. I guess Dan is true in saying, friends just kind of “happen.”
Over the time, we include our husbands. Surprisingly, our husbands get along just fine. We often go out and travel together. We don’t really care how much the other person is earning and the background, so long as we are happy together.
Friends, may not always be there. So, be grateful when they are.
I used to have a lot of friends, good friends, best friends…… Most of them are history now. I wish someone could have told me when I was much younger that true friends show up only when you’re in trouble. That would have prepared me for all the heartaches.
At this age, I am still learning how to be more sensitive towards the feelings of others. At the same time, not to be overly sensitive over what insensitive people say and do.
Well, we are only human beings. We have feelings, and we feel hurt. We can’t help it, even when we keep telling ourselves “don’t”.
It still beats me to this day that why some people can be so insensitive. No, they are sensitive too, but they are insensitive towards others’ feelings.
These people, they do not like being questioned by others. However, they enjoy asking the same questions to others and causing pain. Here’s the example:
Miss X: Hey, when are you going to have your own baby? What are you waiting for? You’re not that young anymore, you know.
Miss Y: I think it’s none of your business. (Feeling sore and miserable by the questions.)
Miss Y: Hey, when are you going to have your own baby? What are you waiting for? You’re not that young anymore, you know.
Miss Z: Ermm…… I’m trying……
Miss X: When are you getting married? You two have been together for so long, it’s time, you know.
Miss Y: Well, he has yet to ask me to marry him. (Feeling more upset that Miss X pointed out the fact.)
Miss Y: When are you getting married? You two have been together for so long, it’s time, you know.
Miss Z: Ermm…… Soon……
They feel the pain of their own, yet they go on to cause the same pain on others. Why on earth would someone who is feeling the pain hurt another person to feel the pain too? What human beings are they? Don’t they know you “do not do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you”???? Is this some sort of revenge for what they’re going through? Or are they happier to see others suffer???
Just recently, I was craving for cakes and I wrote on my Facebook wall that I lost my appetite on food except cakes. Some commented that I am pregnant to have such cravings. Since when food cravings are limited to pregnant women only, for crying out loud?! My food cravings always come and go, don’t tell me you never have food cravings even when you’re not pregnant!
You know what is the pain about asking me if I was pregnant for having such cravings? You did not know that I just had a miscarriage. You did not know what I had gone through but you brilliantly went on to ask if I was pregnant. THAT, my dear, is the pain. I don’t blame you for not knowing what I went through, I only blame you for being so insensitive to judge and assume. If I hadn’t gone through a miscarriage, I too would have felt the pain because obviously, I wasn’t pregnant. And yes, you smarty pants just rang the bell of pain for me not being able to get pregnant. You could have just told me where to find delicious cakes to curb my cravings instead of bringing up the pregnancy stuff.
I deleted my status soon after that, because I do not want to see those questions again. Once again it proved that Facebook is such an evil place. I have to keep reminding myself not to post anything too personal anymore.
Everyone makes their own choices. We don’t usually like others to probe, but please don’t go probing too. You don’t know what others are going through and even if you think you know, you may not know it all. Some questions are better left unasked. What do you get even if you know the answer??? You get absolutely nothing. So what if you know??? You feel happy or sad for them??? Then, what can you do??? Absolutely nothing. Don’t cause pain when you know you can avoid it.
Next time, before you ask that question, ask yourself, has that anything to do with you?
Oh, if your friend wants you to know, you don’t even have to ask.
P.S.: I am glad that I have a few close friends that never ever ask me when am I planning to have a baby. It isn’t that they don’t care, they just know there’s no need to ask. Aren’t you grateful to have met friends like this? These are the people that I love surrounding myself with.
Have you ever had that moment, that when your friend posted a photo on Facebook, you feel obligated to click the LIKE button?
It is just a normal than normal photo, you don’t even like the photo, but you click the LIKE button for the sake of liking.
You feel that if you don’t LIKE it, someday your friend’s gonna question you “why you never LIKE my photos”.
Or some will even ask you, “didn’t you see my photo the other day? You never notice me on Facebook. You don’t even care.”
It’s pathetic. Since when our friendship depends on the LIKEs on Facebook?
My surprises started since 12am, 1 April 2013.
Cheeky Andrew came into the bedroom, with his right hand clenched.
Andrew: Come, give me your hand. I have something for you.
Me: *Wide eye* HUH?! Eeeeeee!!! What’s in your hand???!!! Don’t want! Must be “kar juak” (cockroach in hokkien)!!! You just want to trick me!!! Don’t want!!!
Andrew: Aiyoooo…… Come lah!!!
Me: Don’t want!!! Don’t know what’s inside!!!
Andrew: NAH!!!! *He opened his hand and took out the pendant*
Me: Ohhhhh…… Hehe…… Thank you ah.
Andrew: What lah you…… “kar juak” pulak……
Not that I don’t trust him, he is just too cheeky at times and I gotta learn to “protect” myself from all his tricks. :P
It’s another charm pendant from Thomas Sabo. He wanted to buy the same one that I lost, which he gave me during one of the Valentine’s Day years ago, but it is no longer in the production. :( Really clumsy me, how could I have lost the first ever charm from him! The most precious one…… *Cries*
Few weeks ago, I’ve bought a beauty box for myself. Did not expect to receive it right on this day though. Was so excited and happy to receive it yesterday! It smells so pleasant the moment I open the box! Ahh…… What a pleasant pick-me-up. First time I bought myself a birthday gift. Hahaha. Never thought that it would feel so nice to receive a gift from myself! Guess I should do this every year, buy something as a gift and have it delivered to myself. :D
Beauty box from TheLilacBox.
During lunch time, I got another surprise. When a close friend asked me for my office address last week I already knew she was up to something. What I did not expect was the gift! Never would I have thought that they would send me a bouquet of flowers! Flowers from my girl-friends! This is another first! Aww…… I’m so touched. So sweet of them to surprise me with such a lovely gift. Now, who said you could only be surprised with flowers from your partner/spouse? ;) Girl-friends know how to sweep you off your feet, too!
I actually thought the flowers were from Andrew, ’cause there wasn’t any card attached. Hahaha. You girls really fooled me lor, on April Fools’ Day! Really love the fa-wer!!! I couldn’t help but smile whenever I see this photo, even right now when I’m writing this.
Girl-friends rock! XOXO
There is no such things as friends forever.
People can change. We, change.
Our lifestyles change as our priorities change.
Our priorities change as our experiences change.
Our life experiences change as our journeys change.
Our journeys change as our perspectives change.
Our perspectives change as we age.
We are constantly changing. Growing, perhaps.
We can’t expect someone to stay the same forever. For better or worse, we change.
We can’t blame the other person for changing, we ourselves change too.
So, why does it upset you so much when you found out that your friend has changed?
Perhaps, he or she is saying the same about you.
One of the friends said this to me recently, “we are now like having nothing to talk about…… It’s sad.”
I did not say anything, I left it at that.
I don’t blame her for feeling that way. Our lifestyles are different now, our circle of friends is also different, even our outlook on life is different.
We used to be very close, but that was a long time ago. We used to think that we would be best friends forever, but all that has changed now.
I have changed. For her, I may have changed for the worse.
What do we talk about now? Nothing much. Just hi, how are you, and followed by the awkward silence.
No doubt, it is sad. However, I can’t do anything.
I stop trying hard to get someone to jump onto the same bandwagon I am riding. What’s the point if the other person doesn’t appreciate the same view like I do? Plus, we are not heading to the same destination.
When you feel your friend is not as close to you as before, don’t be mad or sad. Be grateful that he or she was part of your life.
We all change. Have you?
Some of you may wonder, why I never blog about my co-workers/colleagues/peers (whatever you call them).
I have this principle, I don’t bring my working life into my personal life and vice versa.
My colleagues do not know my friends, and my friends have never met my colleagues. The people I know from both worlds, never “collide”. :) Only Andrew met my colleagues.
Why do I have such a weird principle? Well, it is because I am a different person in two different world. If you ask my colleagues and friends what they think of me, you’ll most likely get 2 different answers. Both of them can be right about me. We all behave and react differently under different circumstances. Plus, there are things that you are not supposed to share with your colleagues and there are things at work that you’re not supposed to share with your friends.
I tend to be a more carefree person when I’m with my friends. I get to be myself, talk nonsense and say things that I know I can never say with my colleagues. My friends won’t judge me.
When it comes to my colleagues, I am a little more reserved. I have to work with them, so there are things that I know I should not do or say. There would be times where I accidentally let my carefree self out, they would be so surprised and convinced that I was NOT being myself on that particular day. For they do not know, that IS ME.
I do have colleagues that I am close with and they’re friends too. However, they still do not get to see the other side of me. We see each other at work, occasionally we have dinner together, and that is it. I treat them as my friends, but I hardly pour myself out on them. When I want to do that, I go to my friends who are not my colleagues. I do not bring my personal life to work and I do not want to develop a personal life in the workplace. This is where I work and it requires me to be professional if not all the time, most of the times. I can’t allow a personal relationship that will affect my decision.
I can’t avoid the friendship in workplace. After all, I see my colleagues more than I see my friends. It is only natural that colleagues develop become friends. The friendship between my colleagues and I are unique. We are close, but not close enough.
I do not want to introduce my colleagues to my friends too, I would like to keep that “line” clear.
Fortunately, I am good in balancing both worlds. Tiring? Sometimes. Good that I have Andrew to go to whenever I need a break from all of them. :) I am my true evil self when I’m with Andrew, every little dark side of me is unleashed when I’m with him. No one would wish to see that. Hahahahahahaha……
My colleagues, are a secret to my friends. They may know the stories in my workplace, but they do not know who my colleagues are.
My friends, are a secret to my colleagues. They have no idea what kind of friends I have.
Do you have another alter ego?
It was more than 4 years ago, I was looking for a training provider for our company’s team-building event.
Found this small organisation on the newspaper and we got them to do our team-building. I got in touch with the contact person, D. I was a little surprised when I saw her the first time, young and pretty. :)
I can’t remember exactly what happened later, we became friends!
We do not see each other very often, perhaps less than 5 times in a year. However, whenever we meet, we will talk and talk like there’s no tomorrow. Every time we meet, we are like rushing to catch up with each other’s life. We will sit in the restaurant or cafe, and talk for hours. All we want to do is, to pour our hearts out.
This friendship took me by surprise, but I am grateful. I sometimes wonder what makes both of us “click”.
It is true when people say never lose hope, you will not know what you may find along the way. Keep the heart open, and you will find it.
From a vendor, to a friend. I would not be having this friend if I refused to let anyone walk into my life.
Sadly, she is leaving the country, I lose another friend that I can talk to. Happy that she will be having her new life in a better country. Wish her all the best in the world. Hope to see her again soon. :)
I’m gonna miss you terribly.
Went out with my girl friends yesterday. Had a great catch-up session with everyone. We were like 4 chatterboxes, happy chatting and laughing away. These are the friends that we need, take away your sorrows and problems, make you feel great again.
We went shopping, I was looking for this particular knit dress from Mango (they’ve changed it to Mango instead of MNG), didn’t have my size in Pavilion, finally found it in Mid Valley. Then I saw another two-toned knit dress. It didn’t appeal to me at first, but I thought no harm trying. Surprisingly it looks nice! Gotta grab it.
RM99 each, hope they live up to my expectation.
It’s pretty difficult to find a good dress in Mango now. I often find that they are overpriced. Even for a good quality piece, I’d be very reluctant to pay for the price. Zara’s dresses on the other hands, have more consistency in the quality and price.
Furthermore, I have colleagues who have been shopping in Mango too, I don’t want to end up one day looking like their twins! :P
Have you ever come across with someone telling you that they detest something but then later you found out that they’re doing the exact same thing that they said they detest?
Or, your friend told you that she wouldn’t do a particular thing but she is doing it later?
Or, someone told you that she is not good with something but later you realised she is doing what she told you she’s not good with and is happy doing it again and again?
Or, she obviously doesn’t like what you’re doing but secretly she is doing what you’re doing?
Or, she went on telling other friends that she isn’t like you, but again, she wants to be like you?
You must be asking, isn’t it tiring to have to remember what I have said? Well, we are human, it is all right to forget what we said sometimes.
My dear, yes, it is all right to forget sometimes, but don’t FORGET, those people you said those things to, they REMEMBER. You did it once, they may think you’re probably forgetful. You did it again, they would start to think “not again?” You did it the third time, they would start questioning your credibility. You continue with it, they now know what you said hold no value at all. Then, they stop paying attention to what you say. Then, they stop communicating with you.
Oh, and you say, “who cares”. Right, who cares huh. There will come a day no one cares a single word you say.
I’m not a saint, I too am forgetful. Which is why, I never say never. When I say never, I make sure I uphold my “never” to the day I die.
When I say I’ll never make my blog a movie review blog, take my word, it’s not going to happen.
When I say I hate copycats, I bloody make sure I don’t become one.
When I say I don’t like to do what you do, I will never do what you do.
When I say I dislike you, you can be bloody sure that I am not going to like you, or wanting to be like you, for ever.
For things that I never say, never assume it for me.
Now, you mark my words.
Here’s a poem, written by a friend that I’ve never met. We are a world apart, yet he’s an old friend whom I “met” on the world wide web. Amazing, isn’t it? How the internet can get you a friend of a lifetime. :)
why do people hide
why do they choose not to tell
why can’t they just say it
is it so hard
to tell someone
it’s part of the culture to
that’s no excuse
why do people hide truths
why do they choose not to tell
why can’t they just say it
i can’t believe it’s that hard
just say it
say the truth
i will find it more honorable
here is the truth,
rather than to save face.
why do people hide
why do they choose not to tell
why can’t they just say it
I will never know
but when you encounter me
do me a favor
don’t save face
P.S.: Ros (if you’re reading this), you know that I always tell you the truth. :)
Photo by Melissa, taken in Bangkok, May 2012.
Who would have thought that the 6 of us would stick together for so long……
All of us are of different age and background. All of us are so different, and yet we are together. I don’t have friends who’s my age that could make such great effort in maintaining a friendship. Speaking of maturity huh?
Thanks to Melissa for always being the understanding one.
Thanks to Wan Yi for always being the compromising one.
It is the little mutual understanding that 3 of us have, that “wanting to make effort in this” factor, that actually pull us together.
Pray that what binds us will not be broken, for as long as we live.
*Muaks* Love you all.
What do you say whenever your friends or colleagues or relatives ask you out?
Do you always say, “erm… Let’s see how when the day comes”?
Or, “I’m not sure if I’ll be free then”?
Or, “well, I may not be able to make it then but tentatively I’m ok”?
Or, “I’ll be free if I have nothing on”?
Or, “where are we going? What are we eating? What time? Who else is going? Hmm……”?
Or, “I will try to go but I can’t promise”?
Well, we know that you all have a life and you’re busy and all that. However, is it really so difficult to just say, YES or NO?
First of all, if that is someone I do not wish to go out with, I will just quickly say that I won’t be free and sorry that I can’t make it. It is just that easy. No art or skill needed.
Other than that, my answer is always pretty quick and clean, “YES, I’ll see you then”, “NO, sorry I won’t be free”. If I am keen to meet, I’ll even suggest to meet another day.
I wonder why some people find it so difficult to make up their mind. I am sure you know your own schedule. If you already have a plan for that day, why can’t you just say so? There is seriously no need to say tentatively you’re ok or that you will try but you can’t promise.
If you are going to meet a friend for a good catch up or gathering, does the place and food really matter? No point in asking where to meet and what to eat.
What? You can’t because you’re not sure if you will be free then? C’mon, I am asking you now, shouldn’t you be reserving that particular day for me then? First come first serve, haven’t you heard of it? Unless you don’t want to see me, otherwise, that is a very lame excuse.
I’ve been getting all of the excuses as stated above, from friends/colleagues/relatives. When I get that few more times, I stop asking these people out. I stop taking initiative to be the first one to ask them. If they’re really keen in seeing me, now they take the first step. I have tried and I am tired of it.
There are some who will always tell me that I never ask them out, but when I do, they will tell me how busy they are and they can’t make it. So I told them, you come ask me when you are free. Then, they never ask. Few months down the road, the same question pops up again, that when am I free to meet them? Sigh…… Why can’t you just give me a date and I will tell you if I’ll be able to make it?!
Then, there are these people, who always say that they’re OK for the time being, but they can’t promise if there’s going to be any last minute changes. I would be like, WTF! You have already made a date with me, how can there be any last minute changes? OK, fine, emergency matter, I totally understand. But do you need to say that every time?
I appreciate those who always give me an absolute answer, “yes, Ashley, I’ve marked my calendar for you”, “no, Ashley, can we make it maybe next week?” I love them! We will always work on the best date for each other and we stick to it and we wait for the day to come, all done just within a few minutes. If there is any changes later, first thing first we will always inform the other one and we work on another date again. It is just so easy but I just can’t understand why some people can’t seem to do that.
If I don’t ask you out again, I’m sure you know why. Please don’t blame me for not asking you out again. I have tried (and I’m sure you know it too), and I have failed too many times. If you are still unsure of the way I will respond to your request, don’t bother asking then, ’cause that shows that you don’t know me at all.
When I tell you my calendar is still empty for all the weekends in June, take my words and go pick a day. I’ll surely say yes, provided if I’m keen to see you. :P
It started with a wedding forum, bride-to-be’s were searching for information for their weddings. They came out, met each other, shared ideas and stories…… At the end, only a handful went the extra mile……
Husbands were then involved, joined the gatherings, met each other, shared jokes and stories……
We, are of different age, professions, backgrounds, beliefs, and even nationality. However, we clicked. We have had our misunderstandings and disagreements, but we sorted them out carefully and beautifully.
Chance has brought us together. However, it is us, who chose to stay TOGETHER. The effort that we are willing to make and spend for each other, is what keeping us together.
It is a blessing, that we are willing to spend the effort for each other. Not many are willing to do that. All 6 of us, understand that we all have the responsibility to maintain the friendship, it is not ONE-WAY.
My friends, a toast to our friendship, and TOGETHERNESS. :)
Finally, the handles of the wardrobe were fixed last night. Carpenter came at 10pm. Room is dusty again even after Andrew cleaned and vacuum-ed. Sigh.
Before carpenter started, he asked Andrew for the desired height of the handles and Andrew asked me what is my preferred height. I told Andrew, “huh? Why bother? Anything lah, it is already ugly enough, the height of the handles wouldn’t make it better.” That, shows how disappointed I am. When the carpenter was fixing the handles, I didn’t even bother to go and check. I only went in the room to see if it was messy and to check on Andrew, not the carpenter.
They’re not the handles that I wanted, so I can’t be bothered if they’re of perfect height on the doors. As long as they’re fixed, so that I can open the doors. The whole thing pissed me off so much that I start to hate my wardrobe. 4 f***ing months to get everything done! Handles alone took 2 month and a half!
The more I look at it, the more I feel the color is so old-fashioned. The corner ceiling-high wardrobe just looks, odd in the bedroom. Why on earth did I choose that??????? Because of a friend and convenience? F*** knows! ARGH!
I learned a lot during this whole renovation process. Not to trust a friend for renovation works, not to take things for granted, not to go with common sense…… I told Andrew, in the future, do NOT ever tell me how white color is going to get dirty, I WANT WHITE, PERIOD!
Another advice from me, if you like a certain color theme for your house, do not ever let other people to convince you otherwise! I wanted white kitchen cabinet and white wardrobe, but everyone (including Andrew) told me white is not going to last long as it gets dirty easily and difficult to maintain. I thought they were wiser than me, so I went with other colors than white. Now? I feel sorry for myself for listening to others but not myself!
5 years down the road, dirty or not, it’s up to me to either change it or live with it. Hell with it! Who bothers if white is difficult to maintain if you’re the one’s living with it and seeing it everyday?????? And best of all, you’re the one paying for it!
To be honest, dark color isn’t any better neither. Have a long scratch on the black counter-top in the kitchen. Yep, first week after the kitchen is done. Mind you, a scratch appears to be very obvious on dark surfaces. Now I use the ugliest table cloth that I could find in the house to cover that scratch. So you tell me, how nice is it going to be with dark colors?
Well, I’m not going to take good care of both my kitchen and wardrobe. I’m just going to USE and ABUSE them like some cheapskate stuff. Just see how long they can last under the wrath of ASHLEY! Wuahahahahahahahahaha! *Evil laughs*
So, so, so disappointed with a friend. The way that friend handled this issue, is totally disappointing. Friend thinks that he/she has done everything to help, sort of like telling me I’m asking too much and I shouldn’t be bothering him/her anymore. Sigh…… Someone will never understand. Colleague asked me, “still friend?” I don’t know…… I seriously don’t know. He/she doesn’t seem to want to stay friends anymore, or else will at least call me to ask how’s thing going. No, no calls. Every time I would be the one who texted first.
Wasted my money, lost a friend, and lost my trust.
Photo courtesy of Angry Birds Facebook.
A true friend
Calls your name
But knows everything
Rarely calls you
But often sees you
Never asks you
But cares about you
A true friend
Walks after you
Looks after you
Runs after you
When you turn around
A true friend
Will be there
How do you view wishing your friend on his/her birthday? Is it a must? Is it unforgivable if you forgot his/her birthday? Is it a sin for not wishing him/her?
I have a very small database for friends’ birthdays. No matter how long you’ve been friends with me, there is still a high chance that I don’t remember your birth date. My brain is not programmed for dates I guess. There was once I even forgot the most important man-in-my-life’s birthday! My siblings will usually buzz me to remind me of another sister’s birthday. See, I don’t even remember my sisters’ birthday, except my younger sister as the birth date is a special one to me.
Hence, when it comes to friends’ birthdays, I feel pressured.
If I couldn’t remember and asked another friend about the exact date, that another friend would often reply, “HUH?! What?! You FORGOT her birthday??!! How can you forget her birthday after so long together?” Ya right, as if my brain is stone and the date is carved on it. Hello, even the stone also will get weathering ok.
If I did not log in to Facebook over the weekends and so happened it was someone’s birthday and I missed it, it looks so bad on me for not wishing that friend! I had people came asking me, “how come you did not wish her? Did you know it was her birthday? Didn’t you check your Facebook?” Gosh, give me a break. Facebook is not a calendar! And I do not check Facebook every single day.
I’m not sure how the other person feels when I forgot to wish them on their birthdays. More often than not, they would tell me it’s okay when I apologised and wish them a happy belated birthday. Whether it is truly okay for them, I have no way to tell. If they go behind my back and tell the whole world that I forgot their birthdays, I wouldn’t know. I do not bother either if they want to do so.
Is it really so important to wish someone on their birthdays? Will he/she be less happy or blessed without my wishes?
You may say I should at least remember some close friends’ birthdays. Well, I don’t. Except for a few special ones like born on the 1st of January or Labor’s Day or National Day or Christmas. Even when I know it is the Christmas, I may well forget to wish him/her. Bummer.
To me, I do not mind if someone says happy birthday to me or not. Yes, thank you if you do, but if you don’t, I won’t go all the way to remember who you are and mark you as a bad friend for life. Gosh, being friends isn’t just about wishing you on your birthdays.
I know, I can’t force you to think exactly the same like me. And you have all the rights under the sun to blame me for not wishing you happy birthday. Just don’t force me to remember your birthday either, even if you are a close friend of mine, please allow me the room to be forgetful at times. I’ll apologise for being late and it doesn’t mean I do not wish you good when I do not wish you happy birthday. I seriously wish all the good things to happen to you, not just on your birthday, but every single day.
A very Happy (Birth)day to all of you!
So, what do you do if you forgot a friend’s birthday?
What they say when a friend calls for help? We help. :)
My friend, Melissa is trying her luck in this Mother-Child Look-Alike Photo Contest, by Philea Resort Melaka. She needs all the help that she can find and gather. :) So, let us all be her heroes of the day and help her. I strongly believe that all of my readers are kind-hearted and willing to help people in need.
First and foremost, you MUST have a Facebook account. If you are not a FB user, thanks for the thought and it is good enough. :)
Log in to your Facebook account, go to Philea Resort & Spa Melaka, and “LIKE” the page.
Then, go to Melissa’s photo HERE, click “LIKE” at the bottom of her photo.
It’s as simple as that. After the contest ends on 30 April 2011, go ahead and “Unlike” the page.
I know, you don’t get paid for helping and you probably do not know my friend. It’s ok, it’s the thought that counts.
Thank you peeps. Love you heaps. :)
Was reading the blogs that I subscribed to, Analyfe is one of the many inspiring bloggers that I admire. You could basically relate to almost everything that she shares. It is so down to earth and close to the heart.
While I was still having that piece of dark cloud following me, I came across this blog post of Analyfe. All of a sudden, I was hit by a ray of light and the dark cloud disappeared.
I may not be a perfect person (no one is) and perfect friend, but I do my best to do what is required of me. Of course I too have let my friends down sometimes, but at least I know I have done my best. If I am really such a bad friend, I am pretty sure my friends are smart enough to ditch me and move on.
I couldn’t believe I allowed a “friend” to just walk all over me, left the unpleasant footprints and stabbed me hard on the heart, again.
So, from now on, I shall focus on the happy relationships I have and forget those bad ones. Too bad that it didn’t work out, 17 years of friendship. Since it is so difficult for everyone, it isn’t a bad thing to let go now.
Phew, I now feel so relieved. Oh, not forgetting Melissa and Wan Yi too, who are always there to give me the encouragement and support. They are the beautiful relationships that I must cherish and focus on.
I seriously believe that our almighty TIME is flying on a rocket! Hahaha. It has been a year since our Taiwan trip! Good grief!
It was a coincidence that we planned to meet up on this day, 22 January. One year ago, this particular day, we were in Leo Foo Village (theme park in Xinzhu, Taiwan) having fun. Yes, Melissa, you’re right. :) We miss our Taiwan trip so much and have been wanting to relive the moments. Since 3 of us were already in the mall, Alex was on his way too, both Wan Yi and I called our lovely husbands to come join us for dinner too.
Here we are, sitting in Fong Lye in The Gardens for our dinner! So nice to see 6 of us sit, eat, chat and laugh together again! I HEART you all!!!
For the details on the food, please visit Melissa’s blog at the bottom. :D